Thoughts from a day alone...(please excuse its disjointedness and improper verb tenses... :)
So here I sit…and wait. Willing my phone to flash with some sign of life.
And I am reminded of a few things. I’m reminded that at all times, there is a need for thankfulness. I’m reminded that coffee shops (and book stores) can provide the ideal atmosphere for reflection and writing. And I see that “me-at-my-best” is the “me” who lives with genuine passion and in line with God’s plans.
**
So I’ve had some car troubles lately. And because March has been so busy with school, I have held off on taking my car to the shop for the diagnosis…until today.
Mom, willing lady that she is, followed me this morning and graciously allowed me (and about 20lbs. of reading/writing materials) to tag along to her city of employment. For this day, I could do everything my heart desires or nothing at all; a truly “carpe diem” kind of freedom.
We rode into the lighted city as rain pelted the windshield. I could see just fine, but unfortunately for Mom, the driver’s side wiper was rather askew…note to self: buy wiper blades in case of torrential downpour.
After a hurried goodbye in the drizzle, I took off to see Drew at HyVee. Now if you know me at all, you know I enjoy all (or almost all) things related to food and kitchens. I have a passion for homemaking.
**
Let’s back track… As soon as I could drive, I’d skip off to the nearest Walmart and Aldi (etc), blank checks and cash tucked away in the deep crevices of my purse, in order to replenish the family cupboards. And I loved it! Two hours to compare prices, check labels, scrutinize produce... I felt so needed and important--so key to the health and wellness of those I loved.
Also in H.S., especially senior year, I spent hours pouring over recipe books in the school library. I made dozens of copies and wrote furiously. Or I would simply borrow the books to savor during free moments in study hall…you know, when I wasn’t reading Bringing Up Boys or some other such material to deepen my knowledge of men, relationships, family...
I’ve always loved the idea of creating a safe and enjoyable haven for family and friends. A place of peace and laughter and rest. It’s how I’m wired. It’s my passion...even when some friends told me I’d waste my brain on such an ambition as raising a family. Obviously they didn’t predict the desperation which is written all over today’s families.
**
Now back to today’s HyVee trip… I once again found myself cruising the aisles---taking in all the new selections and finally settling on the small basketful I actually needed. The stroll was pleasantly familiar, and it added bounce to my step and a smile to grace my lips--masking all thoughts of early-morning fatigue. My niece would call this joy, “Jesus bubbling over” :)
So, HyVee was great, the bread outlet was quite affordable, and then it happened…
I stopped back at the HyVee gas station to fill up (can’t beat the discount with a previous purchase)…and I heard an awful hiss from the back left tire. Should I ignore it and continue on in ignorant bliss, or?... So I did what any damsel in distress would do… I called a handy, calm, cool, and collected prince. For this case, Dad wisely suggested that I quickly fill the nearly deflated tire and get to a tire shop. I don’t know much about cars, but I do know how to air up a tire. So, with that done, I prayed hard and drove with cautious speediness to the only shop I could think of. Pulling in, I read the sign below the gas prices, “Give Thanks.”
God, how GOOD You are! Thank You, thank You, thank You! Not for giving as I wanted, but rather for Your gracious display of extra favor on this mechanically challenged daughter of Your’s.
**
This forced halt in my schedule has brought me to a lovely little café. A place to refresh my nerves and keep warm with a cup of chamomile tea. What a blessed soul am I on this day to do as I please. These moments are rare and precious. What else shall I do, you ask? You know, once the van is back in working order…
Oh, maybe I’ll take a little hobo nap in the van, grab lunch with Mom, enjoy some reading, stroll beside the Mississippi, visit a local “man store” for some tomato seeds & that plastic protector stuff to guard my baby trees from roving animals… I’ll hold loosely to those wishes as I never quite know what a day might hold.
No matter where I end up, I can surely give thanks to God. Thanks for the daffodils I see bursting through the mulch (as I’m now at a park gazebo, freezing my buns a bit…); thanks for the people I love and who love me; and thanks for redeeming me. With Jesus, I am covered and able to fully live, both now and forever with Him. “In everything give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thes. 5:18)
**
So how did the day end? Well… picked up the van, ate a gorgonzola/spinach salad at lunch with Mom, spent a little time with a sweet (and shivering) outdoor cashier lady named Marvel after perusing the garden seeds, bought a cute pink shirt/car oil/wiperblades at Walmart, took a little hobo rest in the parking lot, read, walked around outside, downed a coffee, tried on heels at ShopKo/dreamed a little in the kitchen aisles, filled the gas tank, and snatched up the Mama. And now, I’m headed to see Grandma at the hospital in Madison.
**
Someday, I’ll surely covet this day. At least I hope so. I hope I one day have a husband who longs for my affections and little ones who tug at both my heart and apron strings…even if it sometimes results in moments which leave me hungry for just a few minutes alone.
For now, though, I will try hard to not wish this season away before its time is through. Besides, even the satisfaction of a healthy family or a good job cannot fulfill me completely and give my life its purpose. My purpose is to point to Jesus in whatever phase I find myself. Admittedly, I don’t always do it well, and I sometimes I put my foot in my mouth or my nose where it doesn’t belong. Praise God for His mercy and grace!
My tale has gotten a bit lengthy, but pondering is renewal for my soul. It reminds me to live this day, to take whatever comes with an attitude of grace and thanksgiving, and to know my purpose by spending time with the One who grants it.
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